Is the Dunkin Donut’s Beyond Sausage Sandwich vegan heaven or hell?
The day that Dunkin Donuts decided to wed the Beyond Meat Sausage and the English muffin was a vegan’s dream come true or so I thought. Initially it seemed that convenience had finally looked my way. Not only did it look my way, but it actually acknowledged me. Having been vegan for over 2 decades now this is something that I never could have imagined. We have indeed come a long way.
Though I haven’t eaten at Dunkin Donut’s since being vegan I made it my mission to bear witness to this miracle. So like a crazed fan I jumped in my car at the speed of light and drove like an emergency response team to the nearest Dunkin Donut’s. I screeched into parking spot, hopped out of the car, flung Dunkin’s door nearly off the hinges and smiling at the cashier I proudly said the magical words. “May I have a Beyond Sausage and an English muffin add on?” I’d memorized the script that all the vegan vloggers had learned to say after learning the hard way.
I thought, “This will be easy for me.” Yet, was I in for a future of Dunkin disappointment. The cashier replied, “Oh sorry, we’re sold out.” It was rejection of the worst kind. It was personal and in that moment I felt like such a failure. Nonetheless, I picked my chin up from the floor, held my head up high and repeated this same scenario two more times. Each blow was 10 times worse than the first. I thought it was a conspiracy. Did someone not want me to experience this breakfast muffin?
I pushed through the pain and decided that maybe the fourth time will be the charm and it was. With a lot less vigor I said the magical words again. This time that cashier replied, “Oh sure, will there be anything else?” I couldn’t believe it. I’d gotten so used to rejection that it took me a moment to process the affirmative response. After an awkwardly long pause, I said, “No that will be all.”
Giddy like a school kid on the last day of school I drove up to the window to pay and get my Beyond Sausage. When the cashier handed it to me the skeptic in me just had to open it to confirm that it was in fact the Beyond Sausage and not the meat sausage. So I peeled the wrapper back and nearly fainted at the sight. It was nightmarish. It was a Beyond Sausage on an English muffin accompanied by an egg and cheese! This was horrific.
I made it a point to use the magical script, but it failed me. They still vandalized my Beyond Sausage with egg and cheese. I calmly informed the cashier that I specifically ordered it without the egg and cheese. In fact, those words were never even spoken. He apologized, turned around, returned to the counter, opened the muffin and peeled the egg and cheese off.
I thought that I was having some sort of night terrors. I could’t believe that he did that. He came back smiling and said, “Here you go.” I replied, “No, no. I don’t want any interaction between my Beyond Sausage past, present or future with egg or cheese. Please prepare me another without the egg or cheese sidekicks.” He profusely apologized and made me a fresh Beyond Sausage with a complimentary side of hash browns.
Now by this time I was so skeptical. However, like Nicolas Cage, in National Treasure, I had gone through such an adventure to get this sandwich that I had to go through with tasting it. So I took a bite, processed the flavor, shook my head and said, “It’s pretty good.”
Now was it worth going after like a National Treasure? I think not. It was good, but for a vegan it was not worth all that I went through to get it. Besides that a food item can never again have this much power over me.
What about you? Was the Dunkin Donut’s Beyond Sausage Sandwich experience vegan heaven or hell?
