so i just figured out how to get rid of the muffin top!
omg healthy peeps! the holiday season brought me lots of great gifts. however, i had one that i had to return even tho i didn’t have the receipt… the muffin top!!!! YES, i get those unsightly things too and the next time they go on sale i’m gonna just say NO!! i don’t care how good a deal it is or who else is getting one or how much of a fashion trend it’s expected to become, i’m gonna pass. to say that i enjoyed the holiday season is an understatement. i had an absolute blast!!!!
Bon bons, stuffing, rolls, sweet potato pie, starch, starch and more starch and oh did i mention starch!! now i’m all for the occasional indulgence of a treat that satisfies the senses in a way that words could never describe (umph that just made me remember the satisfaction of that godiva ecstasy that graced my taste buds with her love). however, i’ve noticed that over the past few years i keep getting an annual delivery of muffin tops. so i decided to take a closer look at the packing slip.
in reading the fine print i noticed that the muffin tops that i’ve been receiving have been effects. then taking an even closer look i saw my entire world of wellness in terms of cause and effect because, after all, everything is based on cause and effect. so now seeing things from this perspective i know that the cause of my eating habits which led to the express delivery of the muffin top was something that had originated from within. in fact, i realized that each time i live off beat or am not living to the rhythm of my universe, one of the results is the arrival of the muffin top…. stay with me and i’ll explain further…
you know the saying, “happy wife, happy life?” well it’s sort of like that. think of me as the wife, the universe as my husband and the muffin top as his mistress. when i am the ultimate wife of my universe… the queen b…mother… (etc. you get the point…) there is no muffin and all is well in the land. however, when i get off beat, my universe starts treating me as his side piece indulging me rather than nourishing, protecting and adoring me as his wife and during those times all is not well in the land hence the arrival of his “muffin.”
so how do i get rid of the muffin top??? well, in order to regain my position as wife i have to get back love, back into the rhythm of my universe stroking him with cosmic love, power and devotion. as the sun rises so must i. as the sun nourishes so must i and as the sun rests so must i. in layman’s terms i’ve got to package that heffa (“muffin”) up and put her ass in the shipping drop box. then i’ve got to tend to my universe by lovingly waking him with a morning kiss at sunrise. then as the sun heightens its gaze upon us at midday i’ve got to nourish our bodies with food and at sunset (which is my favorite!), i’ve got to snuggle up close to him and prepare for our trip to other worlds. 
what i’m saying is that i’ve got to get rid of the muff-in mistress by going within. you know how they say problems in relationships don’t originate outside of the relationship, but within? well that’s how i have to approach this “muffin” problem. that’s how to get rid of the muffin top!
a long time ago i discovered that, not only is going after the “muffin” not ladylike, but it doesn’t solve the problem. so this time i took a long, hard look at myself and said “giiiiirrrrrllll what did you do to cause your man to seek out “muffin? did you not give him enough attention? did you let yourself go?”
i discovered that it was all of that. essentially, i got out of alignment with him. the cause of this affair was that my physical self (lifestyle habits) got out of alignment with my spiritual self and the effect of that was the manifestation of the undesired, “muffin.” i got caught up in the distractions of the outter-verse and neglected my man! i was doing power yoga workouts at sunset and eating large meals at nite which led to unhappiness and discord between my universe and I.
in order to bring us back into mutual accord i had to reestablish our bond. i did that by awakening my body at sunrise with a workout, nourishing it midday, resting with it at sunset, then merging with it at nite where we coexisted as one. now, i’m proud to say that the effect of re-establishing that union has been that we are now flying high enjoying the bliss of our happily ever after and stronger than ever!
bye bye muffin! get your own man!!!! and that’s how to get rid of the muffin top once and for all!
sunflower smooches!
amirah b (aka blissfully mindful)
