Why can’t I be mother and friend? As I was just blogging about one of my all time favorite shows, Gilmore Girls I decided to stay on the topic of a mother’s bond. As I’m sitting here I’m reflecting on my relationship with my 2 children. There’s something so divine about those relationships that it at times seems uncanny.
Honestly I’ve never had a relationship closer than the one that I have with my children. I know when one of them has a headache because I have one too. They are my confidants. They have the ability to inspire me like no one else. At the same time they check me on my sh#% when I need to be checked. Most importantly, they have both taught me the true definitition of unconditional love.
While many believe that you can’t be best friends with your children as it is perceived to be a conflict of interest, I disagree. In my experience, I’ve learned more about friendship from my children than I have learned anywhere else. Because of my friendship with my children I am a better friend to others. Because of what my children have taught me about love I’m a better partner than I would be otherwise. My children are my therapist when I need, offering me the best, most insightful, on point advise that money could buy.
My children are the most beautiful reflection of who I’ve come to be. So if I can’t see them as my best friends, than I can’t see myself as the best that I can be. As I look had who my children have grown to become I see all that I can be. They inspire me to constantly dig deeper, learn more and become greater. Being a mom has shown me the power of a mother’s bond to force you out of complacency and the limitations of old, out-dated beliefs about parenting and life.
Though difficult at times, being a mom has enabled me to achieve my highest heights. It’s catapulted my divine evolution. I don’t just see myself as a mother leading her flock. Why can’t I be mother and friend? My children are as much my shining stars guiding my way. Because of them I have such an expanded view of my place in this world and beyond. I can’t imagine all that I’d be missing out on by seeing them only as my subordinates.
On the contrary, I was raised quite differently than my children and was constantly reminded by my parents to stay in my place, even to this day. All that did was limit our relationship to a shallow, obligatory existence between 3 people. It’s a relationship reminiscent of a job. You go because you have to, but not necessarily because you want to. In fact, at times you dread the encounter. I look at them and I don’t truly know them. I see only dictators afraid to show love and devoid of the capacity to trust or befriend. It’s a failed relationship that I had no desire to replicate. So I did otherwise.
Having manifested such an evolved manner of parenting with my children I am ecstatic to have reaped the many benefits of the infinitely expanding relationship that I now enjoy with them. My children saw my potential and cultivated it into something phenomenal. So as I look at them I see nothing but the infinite possibilities of a mother’s bond.